What I Have Learnt | The Fear

Today I am putting out a post that will probably touch on personal but through many of the conversations I have with new and old friends, I think it is something worth talking (writing/waffling) about. Fear is a tiny word that can have a huge affect on people and when you are launching/running your own business it can be debilitating. 

N.B. I am talking about the kind of internal fear that affects your confidence and ability to make yourself visible - not the kind that engulfs you if you come face to face with a shark or lion so PLEASE GOD do not try and fight that fear - run for your lives (or whatever else Bear Grylls types recommend for these kinds of incidents.)

Three (ish) years ago I packed in my job as a supervisor at a high-end fashion store in Notting Hill wanting to set up a stationery business. And I choked. Big time. I spent a year ‘freelancing’ on the surface but inside I was freaking the eff out frequently. I spent days sleeping and crying with frustrating not knowing what I wanted to do or how to get where I wanted to be… Over this time I slowly went through my savings and basically did nothing, and it was embarrassing. I was embarrassed that I wasn't supporting myself and living off my boyfriend and I was embarrassed that I had no drive at all left in me, the drive that had got me through school, college and university had disappeared and I had no idea how to get it back.

The overwhelm took over me and the fear was uncontrollable. I didn't think I was good enough, I didn't think anyone else would think I was good enough and I certainly had no clue where to start. Even stuff like who to use for printing and on what paper - sent me into a total panic because it was so just too overwhelming. My natural response to feeling any kind of stressful emotion - sadness, anxiety, overwhelm - is to sleep soooooo as you can imagine not much gets done. I pushed away everyone that was trying to help me because I was ashamed and scared of how I was feeling. Yep, that's right - scared of the fear. HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK GODDAMN. Way too many emotions.

As I am writing this I am sat on a train going up to the midlands to teach at The Handmade Fair for three days. Over the past year, I have taught over 100 people in groups of 10-20 and I love it, I get such a buzz from it, something that shocked me as I am naturally quite shy with people that I don't know. However this weekend I am teaching 100 people IN ONE GO, on three occasions, and I am absolutely terrified. It hasn't been helped by an overly stressful week but I have the hugest knot in my stomach and I am so so so scared that I am going to get up there in front of all these people and freeze. So how do I deal with this? By just doing it, at this point I don't really have a choice anyway I can't back out, but I have to trust my knowledge and my experience and just get up there and teach like I would any other time.

Fear is an emotion that happens to everyone, it's scary but what it does is release the hormone adrenaline which induces the ‘Fight or Flight’ instinct in us so we have options - we can either run away from it (for me this includes curling in a ball and going to sleep) OR we can fight it. Take that fear by the balls and say NO you will not control me I am going to kick your butt (please refer to my note above and please don't do this to an angry shark…swim for your life my friend SWIM). 

It has taken me a really really long time to get to the latter - but after I had my son I had this new found determination, I didn't want or need to do this just for me I needed to do it for him too and it clicked. That is not to say that the fear went away - putting myself out there was still excruciatingly terrifying but I knew that I just had to do it, so I took that fear by the balls put a website out there and released my baby into the world (business baby not real baby that would be terrible parenting). When it comes to business in my opinion and small amount of experience things are rarely as terrible as you think, and my website and brand was greeted by waves of enthusiasm from friends, industry peoples and potential clients. No one laughed at me, no one said are you being serious, no one asked me if it was a joke and no one turned around and said that I was awful and would never make it. All the things I was terrified about didn't happen, and why? Because generally the stuff we get ‘the fear’ about is usually made up in our heads.

Fear will always play a huge part in my life, I know that, especially the kind of anxiety led fear that I get which can stop me wanting to leave the house. But I have realised that when it comes to my business I cannot let it rule me and my decisions because I would never do anything. I get pangs of fear when someone asks me to do something I haven't done before, but then I ask myself why? They are asking me to do something related to my job i.e./ calligraphy not to lead open heart surgery. So WHY am I scared? I have always been able to work things out before and if I can’t I am part of an amazing community and usually at least one superstar in there can help me figure it out.

It’s the unknown that gets the fear amped up but we have to believe that we are a lot more capable than we give ourselves credit for. Whether you have run a business before or not (I haven’t) you will have a wealth of experience to draw on just from doing life. For me I worked in a designer store for four years - I have a huge amount of experience in client communication and giving clients an amazing sales experience, going from a store supervisor to calligrapher might not seem like the most related jump but I draw on this experience daily and I fully believe that it makes me better at my job. 

So to tie this up - as these posts get so long and I really don't want to bore you all to death….

  • Fear is a natural response to the unknown and we don't have to be scared/ashamed of the fact we are feeling it. 
  • Fear can be run away from or faced head on. Do the latter in business, the first if faced with a man-eating beast.
  • The things we are scared of very rarely happen because we have built them up in our heads.
  • Ask yourself WHY your scared…if the answer is ‘because people might hate it’ slap yourself and get on with it. People WON’T hate it and if they do then they are dicks and aren't your market.
  • We are much more capable than we give ourselves credit for.
  • YOU are enough and what you do is amazing so say F you to the fear and get yourself out there.

I hope that maybe this post is in the least bit helpful!

Chat soon! 

L x

Note - I am posting this after the handmade fair which was GREAT! After I got over the horrendous nerves it was absolutely fine and nothing awful happened like I had imagined and I just got on with doing the same thing I do every time I teach. The sense of achievement afterwards was amazing and I felt so proud of myself for doing it. So the proof is in the pudding - the reward for facing the fear can be so rewarding! 

the handmade fair

What I Have Learnt | Instagram | Part Two

Well hello there and welcome to part two of What I have learnt about Instagram! If you haven't yet read part one (WHY?!) you can find it here. So settle down with a cuppa and fight the attention seeking toddler and dog away (surely that can’t only be my life?!) and get reading all about what I think about hashtags, having a cohesive page and lots more! As discussed in my last post about Instagram I am so far away from being insta-famous (goddamnit) but I am happy with where I am with my posting and engagement so I just wanted to share some tips that I have found helpful! 


Hashtags - those pesky little buggers. Annoying but essential. It is how the search system of platforms like Instagram and Twitter work and also if you don't use them then you aren't going to be getting in the #dream top nine and people can’t find you. You can use a maximum of thirty per post and in my opinion I would use them all. I personally have a little note in my phone with them all in and I just copy and paste and then add a couple which are more targeted to each post. When searching for hashtags to add to your ‘catalogue’ if you type into the search bar one of your hashtags it will come up with related ones if you are falling short of ideas! 


For me as a creative and visual person having a cohesive page is really important as I see my Instagram as an extension of my website. The images on my account are a mix of professional styled photos and pictures I have taken myself with my iPhone. I don't touch professional images (huge no no to edit any photographers images) but with my phone pictures I always edit with VSCO and use the same filter each time. Now I do not profess to know anything about photography lighting drives me crazy and getting whites took look the same quite literally makes me want to throw my phone in the bin BUT I do have a little area that I do most of my flat lays and I try to do it when the lighting isn't direct sunshine but before dusk. It is worth finding a little area where the environment is pretty constant to take your photos. Find a filter that suits your branding and style and then stick to it, apps like VSCO are great they have so many options for editing. I am also one of those insanely annoying people that posts a picture to see what it looks like on my grid and then deletes it straight away (SORRY to anyone that gets notifications for my account!) to make a proper post. Uber annoying I know. Sorry. 


This point follows on slightly from the last - I am SO far away from being any kind of styling guru but after I went to a Makelight workshop and saw the styling GENIUS Emily Quinton style some of my calligraphy I started to pull together a bit of a styling box which I pull out when I am putting together a flat lay. This has made life waaaaay easier as I know where everything is and its super easy to grab the bits I need. I have a selection of ribbons and materials and also a couple of backdrops from Capture by Lucy which are amazing and since getting my Ash Bush penholder that has made a lot of appearances! Using the same selection of items to style up my images also brings together the cohesiveness of my page…for me, luckily, the things that I am taking photos of are generally pretty small so I don’t need a lot of styling tools just adding a bit of ribbon or material in brings a bit of depth to the photo. 


As I mentioned on my previous point I see my profile as an extension of my website, it is essentially a up to date portfolio for my work. On my website I only use professional images that I have got from shoots but on Instagram I can post less than perfect images of my works in progress and show them off. Quite often when I get enquiries from potential clients i will point them in the direction of an Instagram post if I have done something similar in the past. For me also it is a great way of attracting new clients and I do get a lot of my work through people that have found me on there. Because of this obviously it is important to be professional on your profile when communicating with your followers and also posting on other peoples pictures. In short. Don't be a d*ck on Instagram.


I love an Instagram challenge, its great if your lacking a bit of inspiration and the people who organise them generally know what they are talking about so you’ll be posting content that people react well too. If you follow me you will know that currently I am doing Joanne Hawkers march meet the maker and I am really enjoying it. I have also previously done week long Rising Tide society challenges and one by Jenna Kutcher. It is also a great way to engage with other creatives who are doing the challenge by looking through the associated hashtag.


Instagram stories are awesome. I love them. In a world of perfect curated Instagram pages they are a great way to show real life and behind the scenes without the pressure of it looking Instagram perfect. I love to use stories to show new materials, projects I am working on and sneak peeks along with a little insight into my life (mainly videos of my son and dog BECAUSE THEY ARE CUTE plus they literally follow me everywhere and I can’t get rid of them) I am yet to talk on stories as I sound like a four year old when I talk in videos so yeh probably going to keep avoiding that, but if you have the confidence to then go for it, I think its a great way to communicate with your followers. To top it off you can filter them and add a little bit of text to explain to your followers what the hell is going on. 

WOW so to round the second part of this essay up. I love Instagram. These tips might not work for everyone but I am very happy about where I have got in the last year of having my business account and I wanted to share a little bit of my learning process with you…just incase it can help…and if it does then please let me know - it’s always nice to know that someone out there is reading this.

L x

What I have learnt | Instagram

Get your party pants on because it is time for another dose of wisdom I like to call ‘What I have learnt’ and this post is all about the glorious little app called Instagram. I have split it into two parts because it is super long and I didn't want to send anyone to sleep, so you can catch part two next week! I am so so so far away from being any kind of Instagram genius but in a year I have built up, what I feel is, a honest following which is engaging and I also get a lot of my work and sales from it, so I thought I would share my insight into what I have learnt about using Instagram for your business.


This isn't only one of my tips for Instagram but also in general small business running. I believe that it is really important that in all aspects of your business you are honest and true to yourself, your morals and ethics. On Instagram I write my captions like I speak using language that I would use if I was describing a picture to someone face to face. I feel like it is important when portraying yourself online that your viewer/customer gets a feeling of who you are, yes your work is speaking for itself but they aren’t only buying your product/service they are also buying into you being a part of their wedding/event/very important occasion and it is important that they have some connection with you as a person as well. 


I have two Instagram accounts - I have my personal one which is basically full of baby and sausage dog spam, and then I have my business Oh Wonder account. I personally chose to keep them separate as I love posting pictures of my son and dog and know that potential clients probably don't want to see that all the time (although I don't god knows why, my son and dog are magnificient), whereas my friends do and they in turn probably don't want to be spammed with my calligraphy work. That is not to say that it isn't important to show personal parts of your life on your business profile as well. I like to do introduction posts every so often (especially when I reach a milestone of followers) and share snippets of life, for the very same reason I mentioned in my first point - your clients are buying into you and its important that they know who that is and know that there is a real person behind the computer screen. When picturing my ideal client she has similarities to me and in some ways is the person that I aspire to be (i.e. she's engaged) therefore by putting parts of myself and personality out there she may be attracted to similarities that we have and feel like she will have a stronger connection to me and therefore reach out to me to work on her project (and be best friends forever because she's a total babe).


In this online world that we live in it is SO hard not to compare yourself to everyone that is not only in the same niche as you but also doing everything that you want/hope/wish to be doing (goddamn those skinny tanned super mum bitches dripping in designer handbags and sunglasses). The thing is that social media is not always a true representation of what is REALLY going on behind the scenes. A lot of the time outside the picture is a load of chaos and that real person probably has the same struggles that everyone else has. Yes as per my first point honesty is key and my images are honest in the sense that it is my work, and my captions are written with my personality and I don't hide my struggles (you wont have to scroll through far to find a whinge about me being overwhelmed) but when I am taking a picture of my desk - you don't need to see the pile of plates, mugs, stress binge eating wrappers and general sh*t storm that is my studio. Thats not pretty. A lot of people who have accounts for business plan and prep their content in advance so just because they have posted a million stunning photos this week doesn't mean that they aren’t sat in their PJs on the sofa with a toddler hanging off one arm trying to reply to emails and eat all the food in the world whilst whimpering at that exact moment (just like you are) so don’t feel bad about it. (NB: This does not mean that you have to or should plan your content, just than you can. I personally don’t because I can barely pull together a food plan for the week to help food shopping, let alone plan my Instagram content.)


I try to post once a day but I am not super regimented about it and if two exciting things happen in one day then I will post them both - however I find that generally my engagement is lower if I have multiple posts close together in one day. I also really believe that if you aren't feeling it then don't force yourself to post something that you don't love. Your Instagram - just like your business is an extension of you and if you don't love something then don't post just because you haven't got anything else to post that day. Just chill…and next time you have something you love then post then. Timing wise I tend to post late afternoon, early evening as most days (when I am mothering too) the afternoon is when I work so then I will post my picture as I am toddler wrestling at dinner time - multi tasking at its finest. There are analytics about when to post but honestly if I had a specific time I would just forget it or be late so I figure its better for my sanity not to bother.


If you have read any of my blogposts or Instagram posts then you will know how I feel about community. PRETTY DAMN STRONGLY. As always I strongly suggest finding your competitors and making really really good friends with them, because they are the people that will carry you through and have your back. Instagram is also the place where I network. Because I love the platform I can quite easily spend time on it falling down a hole clicking from profile to profile finding new suppliers that I want to make beautiful stationery babies with and I have reached out and met lots of people this way. So even if it feels a bit unusual for you to send strangers a messages on the internet (I mean why would you find that unusual?!) - just do it, it will pay off I promise and then you'll build a tribe of online pocket friends.


Engagement on Instagram is SO important. It is a SOCIAL media after all, it was meant for socialising and with all the algorithms in place you really get rewarded for it. I used to be a liker - everything that I saw that I liked, I liked, but never commented. Now I make sure that I comment on stuff that really interests me, it boosts the algorithm for those who's images I comment on but also I think it means that those people are more likely to follow and like your posts (if they genuinely like them of course) plus its nice to have someone tell you thats great, I love it or good job. Why would you not want to do that for someone else? I also make sure that I always reply to comments on my images, it again helps your algorithm and its polite. With the new heart and reply button there really is no excuse not too.

So folks that is it for part one of this mega post (seriously university me would be so jealous of the length of this post that I wrote with ease). I am really not an expert on the subject but I am happy and pleased at where my profile is and wanted to share my insight incase it can help anyone else. I will post part two next week which will look at hashtags, having a cohesive page, seeing your profile as an extension of your website, Instagram challenges annnnnd stories! 

Ciao for now!

L x

Disclaimer: I nearly called this post ‘Instagram and how I found my Instajam’…I just thought that you should know that.

What I Have Learnt | In My First Year Of business

Today is the beginning of a little regular feature that I am planning on bringing to the blog - the 'What I have learnt' series. I know, so professional. I do not fancy myself as an expert on anything (apart from nail varnish - which I am pretty expert on, to be honest) least of all running a business, but when I first had this little sparkle of a dream that I wanted to run my own business I was so bowled over by all the decisions, options and information that the overwhelm was too much and it put me off doing it for years. So if I can give some advice that might stop someone feeling like that and make them take the step to starting up then I will dish it out until the cows come home.

The first of this series is the What I have learnt in my first year of business post. As you will know if you are a regular reader (do I have any regular readers?! If I do...I love you) or follow me on Instagram/facebook, Oh Wonder had its first birthday on the 5th of January (and there was no cake or bubbles, so sad, next year there will be) which is crazy because it feels like its only been a few months. I have learnt ALOT in my first year of business, so I am going to attempt to break it down into little wise nuggets of information that hopefully someone out there will find helpful.


COMMUNITY IS SO SO SO IMPORTANT. Build a tribe of like-minded people because they will help you out, give you insanely good advice (my tribe are uber intelligent), listen to you whine/moan/cry/swear/gush, make you feel less lonely and probably at some point talk you down from a ledge. YOU CANNOT SURVIVE WITHOUT THEM. I have a community of wedding suppliers who I am 100% certain I would not be where I am today without and I have a community of stationers who are superstars and collectively I am pretty sure know everything. They help me out with 'argh how the hell do I do this' moments to advice about my sons eczema (mum squad for life), it is truly wonderful. They are awesome and I would be hella lonely without them. I am lucky enough to have met calligraphers who instead of calling competitors I call friends and share jobs and advice with them. It is like living in a world full of wedding and stationery unicorns and rainbows. These people are the first to celebrate my wins alongside me and pick me up after my losses. Remember community over competition always.


This is following on from the community section. Networking is key. It is so easy when you work for yourself from home to hide behind your computer and never actually meet anyone. Attending industry events and meetups is so essential as you meet other suppliers you can collaborate with and can even bring you work. Plus others may have valuable insight into the industry that you are yet to learn about. In 2016 I attended The Hub which was fabulous and also a networking event at Bloved Hive. Networking on social media is also great - I have made some great connections through Instagram and facebook with people who have turned into clients, referrers and friends. Never be afraid to send the first message and introduce yourself it might just be the start of something wonderful.


One of the biggest lessons I have learnt this year is that in an industry like the wedding industry it is really important to be yourself and not just a faceless brand. Your clients are buying into you as a person as they are trusting you with a part of what will hopefully be the most amazing and important day of their lives. They need to know that they gel with you and relate to you to build that trust. When I first started my website I tried to make myself sound bigger than I was - a whole business as oppose to just me. It was unrelatable and I very quickly changed it. Being honest and authentic, and saying this is me and it's just me but that doesn't matter because I love what I do and I will do whatever is in my power to make you exactly what you want and need (I might be fighting a toddler and sausage dog at the same time but I WILL do it!) brings me so many more enquiries and clients. 


Valuing yourself is so important. In those first few months (ahem year) it is so easy to doubt your prices and wonder constantly is this too much? But always know that your work has a worth and you need to recognise your value. If you can't value yourself then it is much harder for others to value you too. We all do bits for free and at the beginning, it can be tempting to do work for free in return for exposure...but only do these jobs if you REALLY KNOW that it aligns with your brand and your vision and that what you are putting in your getting back out of the deal. 


Having good systems in place and being organised is key...I can't really comment on how easy it will make your life as I am yet to feel totally organised, but the parts of my work that I have managed to organised save me so much time flapping around. I use a paper planner and trello which I have on my phone and laptop so I can keep up to date with work and deadlines. I also have a notebook (s) that I put all my workings out etc in so they are all in one place should I need to come back to them. I am currently working on getting my accounts together in one hell of a spreadsheet which I know will save me so much time in the long run too. My business advisor said to me recently that if I get hit by a bus (cheers - lovely thought) then someone should be able to pick up my books and know exactly what my business is doing and where it is at.


This was a hard lesson for me to learn as I am a people pleaser and I want to make everyone happy but everyone has their own tastes and preferences and these aren't always going to align with yours. It isn't personal and you just have to get on with it. Do not let it affect the bigger picture or to knock your confidence. There are plenty of people that are going to LOVE your work and there are plenty of people that are going to go with other people over you...concentrate on the wins not the losses as in the long run they really don't matter. 


As mentioned above I am a people pleaser. Saying no to things does not come easily to me but I have learnt that I NEED to sometimes. I wish I could say yes to all the things and do everything but at the end of the day there are only so many hours in the day and I cannot do everything. So learning to recognise which jobs/favours/shoots/events are in line with your brand and realising when maybe they aren't is really key to making sure that your precious, precious time is spent wisely doing the best for you and your business and that you don't miss out on too many bath times or glasses of bubbles.


You can change your business description/website/bio/name/branding if it becomes irrelevant or what you do changes. In the first year of business, you will do SO much self and business discovery. Something you do as a test to see if it works might turn out to be your biggest love and there is nothing wrong with that. Although I don't suggest rebranding every month changes and tweaks to websites and job descriptions can be done whenever, it is all about business growth. I must tweak my website at least once a fortnight. Sometimes it's just a word, sometimes it's adding in a whole new page, it is all part of the process and one of the reasons I LOVE Squarespace and having control over my website myself. Never be afraid to explore a new avenue...it can all be added into your business model (within reason if you're a calligrapher and want to also add farming then separate brands might be an idea). It does not have to be perfect before you launch, it is so easy to get caught up in the details but this will change as you grow so there really is no such thing as perfect to begin with.


For me, it took having my son to really give me a kick up the a*** and set up Oh Wonder. He is my drive and my inspiration and I thank him for that every day (mind you he has no idea what I am saying - his new favourite word is poopies #mumlife and that is his response to everything so my emotional words are pretty lost on him). After years of being ruled by fear and overwhelm, I suddenly realised that I was bigger than that and I didn't want to be ruled by it anymore. Plus I had given birth (which did not go to plan) and kept a tiny person alive for 8 months...things don't get much scarier than that and I felt unstoppable. So if you take anything away from this, if you haven't done already then do it. Just do it. I promise you it won't be half as scary as you think it will. You are capable of great, great things if you just start.

I feel like I have gone on and on and I could probably continue but I will stop here before my post turns into a book. My first year in business was a rollercoaster but it was more than I could ever have imagined. I am not a business expert and everything I have written here might be seen as total twaddle (what a fab word) but it is completely truthful and things that I wish that maybe someone had told me 3 years ago so I could have set my business up then.

I have lots of posts planned for the WIHL (yes I even decided to give it an acronym) including Instagram, balance (LOL - that one is planned for much later in the year hopefully once I have worked it out), SEO, fairs, branding, marketing and lots more. I hope that you have found at least one nugget of interest in there and if you have then PLEASE let me know that I am not just waffling on to myself.

Much Love
L x

 Photography by Frances Carlisle Photography

Photography by Frances Carlisle Photography